Surviving vacation . . .

I wish that my vacation time could turn out to be as relaxing as I imagine it will be in the days before I leave. I picture my extended family exchanging stories, playing games, laughing, eating, and drinking just enough to loosen up. Days of sunshine and hiking, kayaking, running around with the kid(s) and the dog(s), reading on the deck and watching the boats go by. Everyone glad to be there and glad to connect with everyone else. Altogether, pretty low key. Just a nice time.

I don't know why I picture this in my head. This is never what happens. Clearly I need to expect the madness and allow the chaos to be my relaxation. Nothing is in fact going to be as I imagined - and I can't predict what craziness will occur. So why not just embrace it, breathe in to it, let it be what it is, and allow myself to enjoy the movie?

It is a fortunate thing that I have a very calm and level headed husband who does not engage (unless he absolutely has to) and does not let it affect him (unless it affects our kid). Why not just embrace the fortune in that?

Why not let things be what they are and stay happy anyway?
Well, here's why:
Because I am the eldest
Because I have responsibility
Because I want everyone to be happy
Because I don't think people should yell at each other
Because I had too much to drink that night
Because I figure I must be wrong
Because I am too old
too fat
too intense
too immature
not cute enough

So . . . what to do for the next vacation? Already a family vacation - late August - better start planning now.

Too long - and too much going on

I didn't expect to take so long between postings - but there you go. Lots of life going on in between. Joel got a year long contract with Oregon Children's Theater to perform in schools for Kaiser Permanente (a job that I had in Denver). So perfect and fabulous! He will be doing something he's good at and working with actors and directors and getting known in Portland theater circles. This is great.

My job continues - but is a question mark for a lot of reasons. Mostly, I'm just plowing through at the moment and hoping for a good change. More when the good change comes.

Ethan is having a summer. Playing with friends most of the day, piano lessons coming soon, theater camp, swimming at Pier Park, and learning to play card games with family (golf is a current favorite).

At dinner yesterday Ethan said: I lived 2,000 years ago. Before I was an idea, I was nature. My millions of atoms were one piece of everything in the world.

Which reminded me that it's OK if my job is not perfect.

"Back Boys are Delicious"

Oddly enough I have never been to a chiropractor. No real reason, just never had the need. I've been to an acupuncturist - he helped me though a really bad stint with my asthma. I've experienced ear candling - performed by my very wonderful, very new age aunt - resulting in disgusting yellow discharge. I even had a roommate attempt to solve my (partial) deafness by shoving his finger down my throat and tugging on my Eustachian tube. BTW - that didn't work. I remain completely deaf in my left ear. Don't let anyone do that to you - I was spitting up blood for a week.

So, I'm not averse to trying things out. But, for some reason, I have never been to a chiropractor. Until last Tuesday. And it was heaven. Heaven, I tell you, heaven on earth!

For the past two weeks I had been dealing with some kind of back injury/strain. I went to urgent care and got drugs/advice to keep still for awhile. I stayed home from work for four days. Went in to work (in pain) for several more days. And finally went to the chiropractor yesterday. Here is the first part of our conversation:

Chiropractor: So, on a scale of 1-10, what is your level of pain?

Me: Seven. And I have given birth, so I know what a 10 is.

C: OK. So, during your pregnancy did you have any kind of back trauma?

M: Not that I'm aware of, but it sucked . . . evidenced by the fact that I didn't do it a second time.

C: So, you're in a lot of pain.

And we were off - solving my back pain issue. The solution included:

• Electro-I-dunno-what-thingy that felt like tons of bees on my back
• Cracking and moving of random body parts
• Jumping from room to room
• Standing on random contraptions and then

------- bliss. From 7 to 4 in less than an hour.

So, we come to today. When I have to admit, I'm at about a 2. Next appointment is tomorrow. I'm looking forward to being a 0.

So, for anyone that hasn't tied it. Try it - if you need it. No more vicotin, no more percocet. Just perfect comfort.

And if you need a recommendation for a chiropractor in Portland, I'm your girl.

Day Four - still on my back

It's true - I have been basically lying down or sitting on the couch for the past four days. Pain killers every four hours. Water constantly. Food from time to time. Alternating heat and cold. Ibuprophen as needed. Facebook - Gmail - Work email - Read - Sleep - TV - Talk on the phone. Lather - Rinse - Repeat.

I do not do well with this type of tediousness. So, what to do?

Yesterday I tried to take a walk. Bad idea. I'm worse today than I was the day before. I need to commit to this sit or lie down thing. At least until I can stand without pain. And - I hate to do it. I have always felt physically able to do whatever I wanted to do. And I can't right now. And that is frustrating.

So - no more dwelling. Action! Here's the plan:
1. Just keep doing what I have to do to get healthy again (no matter how boring - and without complaining or feeling guilty)
2. Schedule an acupuncture appointment (I already have a massage scheduled for tomorrow) - and get these scheduled regularly throughout the year.
3. Start a yoga or pilates class (might as well do the research while I'm on my back and figure out what and where and how much it costs)
4. Get back into my kelmanworks workshops
5. Put together a plan to lose 20 pounds (again, might as well do that now)

All of that should at least point me in a better direction physically. Suggestions are welcome. Thanks in advance.
:)

The physical, the emotional and the spiritual

Yesterday (Friday the 13th of June) was a big day for me:

I started having lower back pain at work in the afternoon and I couldn't sleep last night. I went to the doctor this morning and found that I actually did have a lower back injury. I've never had any huge physical issues like this. But, here I am, on the couch, on pain meds and barely able to lift my glass of water. I'm told 4-6 weeks for a full recovery. Hello mid-40's.

I am seriously thinking that I need to start a yoga class or something. Sit-ups at minimum. I've never been able to keep an exercise regimen for very long - but now it seems essential that I do so. Otherwise I'm not going to be able to keep doing what I want to do. I have an aunt in her late 60's that does yoga, stands on her head, balances in all these crazy positions that I would never be able to maintain. So, I guess if she can do it, I should be able to as well. Maybe. More on that to come, I am sure.

Yesterday I also spent happy hour with a good friend of mine in her 30s who is going through a pretty intense life crisis which includes job issues, relationship issues, family issues and self-esteem issues. In fact, she showed up at the bar crying. This beautiful, talented, creative and loving friend of mine is having a hard time and is taking it out on herself. I remember doing the same to myself. I still do it at times, but WAY less. At some point you've just got to give it up, believe you are worthy and perfect and move on towards what you want and need out of life. I hope she can get to that sooner that I have been able to. I'm still working on it, for heaven's sake.

And I'm currently reading The Power of Now and The Stranger. Not sure where this is leading but I'm trying to focus on the moment. It'll all come together. Or maybe it's the pain killers.

WTF

So, oddly enough during the time that I started this blog I also decided to get on Facebook and actually be an active person. Up until now I have had a profile, but rarely checked it. Lately I have tried to be consistent. By lately I mean in the last week . . .

FYI I also have a My Space profile, but I am letting that one go. I mean, how can/does you/one maintain two of these. Geez. So, if you want to find me, get on Facebook - I'm sure I will be your friend.

In the last few days that I have been maintaining my Facebook page I have found friends from a huge number of lives in my life. Folks that I knew in theatre, as an actor, in grad school , in high school, from abroad, in various jobs, etc . . . weird. I'm even finding family members. Small world.

Just entering in to this - but it is fun - and I am interested - it will be cool to see where this leads.

Music - because work is currently crazy

I have had the most stressful and intense day today at work. And so, I am going to move on to something much more interesting (to me) and chronicle my favorite Canoofle songs and videos currently available online. Music only first - in no particular order:

Turtles Upon Turtles - Sammy and Curtis had already recorded the music for this. I came in to do vocals. We had no lyrics, but the music reminded me of a dream that I had the night before where there were all of these turtles stacked on top of each other on top of some parallel universe that was our universe and when it was time to go a turtle would just float out into space. Curtis set me up to sing it into the body of a piano. I'm pretty sure he has the photo. Anyway, when Ethan asked me about the song and I told him the story he told me not to talk about that anymore.

These WiFi Affairs - This was my first Lodge with Canoofle. It was a ton of fun and I think the song is funny. If I were to record it again I'd swap lyrics around a bit. But all in all funny and fun times.

Four Pickles - OK, my first Lodge as well. But this was one of the first time that I actually honestly cracked Curtis up. Mostly because I could keen realistically. Silly ideas - pickles going to sea and all, but funny.

I Got it Goin' On - Played piano instead of keyboards here. Hopefully it sounds a bit Elton John. I ended up with bloody fingers after the run up and I kind of felt like Pete Townshend. Only if Pete Townshend played piano . . .

Play the Cabin - We went up to my dad's cabin in Bend in the winter. When we showed up it started to snow. Perfect atmosphere. While we were hanging out, we could not help but hear the rhythmic sound of the dryer and so we grabbed stuff and started making music out of it and we played the cabin. Another piece of that was our Dryer Jamboree.

L'Orange du Sang (Blood Orange) - Michelle wrote this (Curtis' partner). Fun, funny, and abstract as she is. I hope I did what she intended . . .

OK, so I'll stop here. These are my top so far - although there are many others that rock as well. Mister Christmas, Refill for my Vina, Bus Girl, He Did, Don't Give my Shirt Away, Shark, F. Scott Fitzgerald's21 Pieces of Advice to his Daughter on Living, High Five Heaven. Go visit the Veronica Lodge to check out the rest of it.

An Introduction

This summer I am going to turn 44. I have a 6 year-old son (Ethan) and a 34 year-old husband (Joel). We live in St. John's in Portland, Oregon in the first house we ever bought - we've been here about a year a half. We also have a cat named Mary that we inherited from neighbors a few years ago. No idea how old she is, but she is the most fabulous cat.

I am the Director of Communications at AHA International, a study abroad program provider. AHA is a program of the UO and we send about 1,200 college students abroad each year. Interesting work, great mission, lots of creativity and lots of travel. In fact, at times, too much travel - with a 6 year-old at home. But, you do what you need to in order to take care of the people you love.

Joel is currently a stay-at-home-dad now that summer is here and kindergarten is pretty much over. I'm not sure what else one can do. Someone has to stay home or it's crazy expensive camps and daycare for three months straight. So, he does what he needs to in order to support the people he loves. Gotta love the lack of support for families in this country.

I also play in an improv rock band, Canoofle. It's a blast. I love playing with this group of crazy, creative, intense, odd, funny musicians. It was always my dream to be in a band, but I never pursued it. I didn't think I could do it - and look here I am finally doing it.

I worked as an actor, director and script-writer for most of my professional life until Joel and I had Ethan and we realized that poverty wasn't going to work anymore. So, then came the "real job" with benefits and stability and a salary. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying - gotta love the American Dream.

I'm thinking this blog will be a chronicle of events as I head in to what is likely to be the literal mid-point of my life. I have a sense that there is a shift coming. No idea where it will lead, as usual, but it will most certainly be a ride. I have had many in these 43+ years and there is certainly more to come.