A Response from Beach about the "problems to be solved with uniforms"

Here's the e-mail I got back from Beach administration:

There have been 23 incidents of fighting this year. None involved clothing issues

2nd Grade: 2

4th grade: 2

6th grade: 10

7th grade: 7

8th grade: 2

There have been no bullying incidents involving clothing issues.

If you need a different set of stats please ask.

So, I take it, there are no problems to be solved with uniforms. So we are actually discussing this because someone put a piece of paper in the suggestion box. Wow. Crazy.

Here's my thought - let's spend some time figuring out how to give our kids the kind of education they deserve. Let's get artists, musicians, performers participating in our school, let's get parents involved, let's provide our kids with an educational atmosphere they deserve. I'm just sayin' . . . (and yes I am still snarky about this - and maybe snarky will get our kids what they deserve)

Why don't I have any clothes that fit?

OK - yes - shallow post, but here we go.

I am headed to LA next week for a conference and then to my cousins wedding. So, I pulled out several dressy dresses from the back of my closet assuming that one or more of them would still fit me. I don't wear these on a regular basis, but clearly I need them from time to time. So, I tried them on.

I weigh the same as I did 10 years ago give or take 5 pounds. I haven't grown taller or shorter. I'm pretty much the same, so they should fit . . . right?

The answer is no. They do not fit. At all. Not at all. In fact, I can zip every one of them up past the hips, past the waist, and then I hit the bust area it's all over. It's: Are you kidding me, could I ever actually wear these comfortably ever?

What is that about? Mid-40's equals crazy shifts in body fat . . . Really . . . I am not happy with that. And I need a nice dress for the conference and the wedding. Not sure what to do that information and no time for shopping. So, here's my shallow post.

If you want to see something serious, look at the last one about school uniforms. Incidentally, if I had to wear school uniforms, I would have grown out of mine from the last year and my parents would be buying me a whole new set right now. Which is another reason why that idea is a bad one. (OK, I continue to be snarky on the subject)

Uniforms at Beach Elementary (a public school in Portland, OR)

Someone slipped a piece of paper into the suggestion box at my son's elementary school that said something like: We should have uniforms. (I didn't see the note, I was told at a PTA meeting that we were discussng it because of this suggestion)

There was no indication on the piece of paper that there was a problem that needed to be solved such as students wearing inappropriate clothing, bullying each other about clothing, or fighting about them. And, in fact, when I asked the question directly at a PTA meeting, no one had an answer about what the problem was that we were trying to solve with uniforms. Because of this piece of paper, we are spending time discussing the instigation of uniforms at our public school in NE Portland. This, to me, is crazy.

So, I started researching how uniforms work in public schools. Everything that I have found that has any statistical/empirical evidence rejects the idea that uniforms improve attendance rates, decrease behavioral problems, decrease drug use, or improve academic achievement. Check this and this and this and this and this.

But, then again, the suggestion was put in the box with no problem(s) to solve. So, perhaps we don't need to research this at all. If that's true, then why even consider uniforms in this public school?

One parent at the PTA meeting said: We don't need to agree on what the problems are. I know what I think the problems are. And at least we can all vote on it.

She did not share what she thought the problems were. That doesn't seem very fair . . . shouldn't I have the benefit of knowing what the problems are in her opinion? Then I could actually weigh in on the argument. This adds to my feeling of frustration with this discussion. We have to have the facts in order to discuss something, form opinions and vote on it. If we have no facts and it's just "Let's have uniforms" then why not "Let's have the school day go from noon to six?" No reason, just let's do it - come on, we can all vote on it . . .

When I asked the principal if we had an issue with violence or gangs or drugs at the school, she said: Not really. (I have asked for actual numbers and hope to get them soon. When I have them, I'll post them here)

I realize that I sound a bit snarky about this. I feel very frustrated and angry that it is happening at my son's school. When we lotteried into this school we agreed to be there K-8 for the Dual Immersion language program (he is now in 1st grade). We did that because the school is very diverse (which is somewhat unusual in Portland) and my son is learning Spanish alongside Spanish speaking students that are learning English. I believe comfort with diversity and Spanish language proficiency are important to my son as he becomes an adult in a more and more global world. And, unfortunately, I can't keep him there in good conscience if the message he receives every day is that we must conform, we must be the same, we must hide our uniqueness, the "Man" is in charge. That's not why we came here in the first place.

So, I'm going to every possible meeting and voicing my opinion. I'm hoping we can stop this discussion and start moving on to something more beneficial to our kids. And, if we can't, I hope we can find a public school in Portland that will be right for the kind of person that I want to raise: someone who respects difference, embraces ambiguity, has inter-cultural competency, and loves himself for who he is - and others for who they are.

Almost one year later . . .

I should have known - because this is what I always do - that I wouldn't keep up a blog.
Just like I don't keep up a journal for more than a season.
Just like I go through phases of drawing (or not drawing), gardening (or not gardening), cooking (or not cooking), exercising (or not exercising), keeping up with some sort of skin care regimen (or not).
Admittedly, there are things that I do pretty consistently. These things include:

• parenting
• performing
• making music
• reading
• watching TV
• checking email
• eating
• going to happy hour with friends
  
• putting on comfy clothes the minute I get home

I will do a minimum of six of these nine things every single day. But you can't count on me taking my mascara of before I go to bed on any given day. Only on those days when I am on the skin care regimen routine.

It seems to me that my issue with a lack of consistency lies in the particular phase of "Mel" that I find myself in - and this phase can appear seasonally, yearly, by the decade, on a whim, randomly . . . whatever. Here are some "Mels" that show up from time to time:

• Healthy Mel: She is friendly and perky. She exercises regularly, goes on walks, buys equipment she believes she will use 3-5 times a week, eats organic, devises a garden plan, brushes her teeth after each meal, takes her make-up off every night;
• Artist Mel: She's a bit broody. She stays up late, makes ink drawings involving lots of eyes and cats and words, listens to angst ridden music, rearranges the house, falls asleep on the couch most nights, goes to bed in whatever she is wearing (make-up included);
• Travel Mel: She is sooo cosmopolitan. She is busy planning the next trip, buys new clothes to fit the place, checks her miles to make sure she can reach elite status, plans new adventures in new cities, does things she doesn't have time to do at home (like go to a spa);
  
• Party Mel: She's up for anything. She is fun, she laughs a lot, she shares the attention with whoever she is with, she sings, she dances, she jumps on your back, if you've got a crazy idea about how to make the night more fun she's there;
• Reflective Mel: She thinks she can fix herself by writing about it. This is the journaling Mel, the letter writing Mel, the blogging Mel. This is the Mel that started this blog - and the Mel that is picking it up again now. This is the Mel that wishes she could be more consistent.
  

So - there we go. I'm going to try again and see what happens - and hopefully not hate myself if I fail . . . again.

Surviving vacation . . .

I wish that my vacation time could turn out to be as relaxing as I imagine it will be in the days before I leave. I picture my extended family exchanging stories, playing games, laughing, eating, and drinking just enough to loosen up. Days of sunshine and hiking, kayaking, running around with the kid(s) and the dog(s), reading on the deck and watching the boats go by. Everyone glad to be there and glad to connect with everyone else. Altogether, pretty low key. Just a nice time.

I don't know why I picture this in my head. This is never what happens. Clearly I need to expect the madness and allow the chaos to be my relaxation. Nothing is in fact going to be as I imagined - and I can't predict what craziness will occur. So why not just embrace it, breathe in to it, let it be what it is, and allow myself to enjoy the movie?

It is a fortunate thing that I have a very calm and level headed husband who does not engage (unless he absolutely has to) and does not let it affect him (unless it affects our kid). Why not just embrace the fortune in that?

Why not let things be what they are and stay happy anyway?
Well, here's why:
Because I am the eldest
Because I have responsibility
Because I want everyone to be happy
Because I don't think people should yell at each other
Because I had too much to drink that night
Because I figure I must be wrong
Because I am too old
too fat
too intense
too immature
not cute enough

So . . . what to do for the next vacation? Already a family vacation - late August - better start planning now.

Too long - and too much going on

I didn't expect to take so long between postings - but there you go. Lots of life going on in between. Joel got a year long contract with Oregon Children's Theater to perform in schools for Kaiser Permanente (a job that I had in Denver). So perfect and fabulous! He will be doing something he's good at and working with actors and directors and getting known in Portland theater circles. This is great.

My job continues - but is a question mark for a lot of reasons. Mostly, I'm just plowing through at the moment and hoping for a good change. More when the good change comes.

Ethan is having a summer. Playing with friends most of the day, piano lessons coming soon, theater camp, swimming at Pier Park, and learning to play card games with family (golf is a current favorite).

At dinner yesterday Ethan said: I lived 2,000 years ago. Before I was an idea, I was nature. My millions of atoms were one piece of everything in the world.

Which reminded me that it's OK if my job is not perfect.

"Back Boys are Delicious"

Oddly enough I have never been to a chiropractor. No real reason, just never had the need. I've been to an acupuncturist - he helped me though a really bad stint with my asthma. I've experienced ear candling - performed by my very wonderful, very new age aunt - resulting in disgusting yellow discharge. I even had a roommate attempt to solve my (partial) deafness by shoving his finger down my throat and tugging on my Eustachian tube. BTW - that didn't work. I remain completely deaf in my left ear. Don't let anyone do that to you - I was spitting up blood for a week.

So, I'm not averse to trying things out. But, for some reason, I have never been to a chiropractor. Until last Tuesday. And it was heaven. Heaven, I tell you, heaven on earth!

For the past two weeks I had been dealing with some kind of back injury/strain. I went to urgent care and got drugs/advice to keep still for awhile. I stayed home from work for four days. Went in to work (in pain) for several more days. And finally went to the chiropractor yesterday. Here is the first part of our conversation:

Chiropractor: So, on a scale of 1-10, what is your level of pain?

Me: Seven. And I have given birth, so I know what a 10 is.

C: OK. So, during your pregnancy did you have any kind of back trauma?

M: Not that I'm aware of, but it sucked . . . evidenced by the fact that I didn't do it a second time.

C: So, you're in a lot of pain.

And we were off - solving my back pain issue. The solution included:

• Electro-I-dunno-what-thingy that felt like tons of bees on my back
• Cracking and moving of random body parts
• Jumping from room to room
• Standing on random contraptions and then

------- bliss. From 7 to 4 in less than an hour.

So, we come to today. When I have to admit, I'm at about a 2. Next appointment is tomorrow. I'm looking forward to being a 0.

So, for anyone that hasn't tied it. Try it - if you need it. No more vicotin, no more percocet. Just perfect comfort.

And if you need a recommendation for a chiropractor in Portland, I'm your girl.